Belly Comes First
I seem to give off a strange pheromone that calls out to the highly sensitive senses of creeps.
I am by no means alone in this struggle. There’s everything from strangers on the street instructing women to “smile,” to women being told loudly that they’re “not even pretty” after ignoring the mating calls of “yo yo, hey, sexy, ma, what’s up girl?”. Here are three random fun experiences I've had.
November 7 2012
Jumped in a van today, I was late and I wasn’t really paying attention to the van names (for those who don't know, the minivans -public transport on the island- generally have different names painted on the front, some have a full body kit, other sometimes have ads, some have none of the above, but the 'hot" vans do, and generally get the business of the younger generation), I just stopped whatever one was coming towards me and jumped in.
Apparently the conductor of said van was also a prospector, because I cannot fathom what else he was searching for so deep up his nostril, but some nuggets of gold. Perhaps his right nostril is the entrance to Narnia, and someone was trying to pull him through by this index finger… I hope not or my childhood will be ruined. I’m almost certain that at some point, his entire hand disappeared up there, but that’s a whole different genre (*wink wink, nudge nudge*). Suffice to say I flung my money and him and leapt out with the same speed I leapt in with, making sure no contact was made with his hand.
November 13 2012
Walking in town today, as usual, I have a destination to get to, I’m paying no attention to people, but my ears are like sonar… as I walk past a random man, he shouts “wait wait, da is a white girl with a nice ass so????” Moving past the grossness of it all, why do I have have to be the big booty white girl (I hear it’s now PAWG)?
November 15 2012
I’ve never bought nor looked the least bit interested in your wares. I understand that you are just trying to make a legal living, and ma’am I commend you, however “hey sexy, any panties for you today” will not entice me to wander over to your stall to purchase underwear on the side of the road. I applaud your attempt at flattery, and am grateful that you didn’t curse me out when I declined.
We all have that one friend, you know the one... the one who random weird things happen to...the one you end up looking at and exclaiming "this only happens when I'm out with you!!!" that friend.. It me!