August 4 2013

I went for a walk today.

On my way back, a man walks out of a house, kinda shifty looking (both man and house). There’s a big overgrown bush blocking the sidewalk, and I step into the street to get around it. The guy goes around a corner, (the house is on the end of the street before it turns, the corner if you would). I continue walking. All of a sudden I hear “excuse me, do you live around here?”

The same man is standing there on the sidewalk behind me, in his t-shirt and sweats, in need of a line up (hair and beard, not so much Police and a two way mirror… that I know of) and I realize that he lives in the house.

So it would appear, that him coming outside, and disappearing around the corner  was all a badly orchestrated attempt to talk to me.

Now my back is up, because I’m suspicious and this is all rather odd, clearly he’s not asking for directions, he lives there.
I tell him that I do not live in the area and carry on walking.

He starts again, telling me that he’s just trying to introduce himself, but he’s a bit “out of it” so next time…

Next time??? *insert Soulja Boy meme here*
eh?

On I walk.

“Hey, you’re beautiful”. I turn and say thank you, while making more distance between me, shifty house man, and the unkempt sidewalk blocking bush.

“I love the way you swish” (seems I'm a Nike sneaker, or a NBA player hitting a 3pointer)

Apparently a parting compliment that could’t wait until “next time.”