Belly Comes First
I went for a walk today.
On my way back, a man walks out of a house, kinda shifty looking (both man and house). There’s a big overgrown bush blocking the sidewalk, and I step into the street to get around it. The guy goes around a corner, (the house is on the end of the street before it turns, the corner if you would). I continue walking. All of a sudden I hear “excuse me, do you live around here?”
The same man is standing there on the sidewalk behind me, in his t-shirt and sweats, in need of a line up (hair and beard, not so much Police and a two way mirror… that I know of) and I realize that he lives in the house.
So it would appear, that him coming outside, and disappearing around the corner was all a badly orchestrated attempt to talk to me.
Now my back is up, because I’m suspicious and this is all rather odd, clearly he’s not asking for directions, he lives there.
I tell him that I do not live in the area and carry on walking.
He starts again, telling me that he’s just trying to introduce himself, but he’s a bit “out of it” so next time…
Next time??? *insert Soulja Boy meme here*
On I walk.
“Hey, you’re beautiful”. I turn and say thank you, while making more distance between me, shifty house man, and the unkempt sidewalk blocking bush.
“I love the way you swish” (seems I'm a Nike sneaker, or a NBA player hitting a 3pointer)
Apparently a parting compliment that could’t wait until “next time.”
We all have that one friend, you know the one... the one who random weird things happen to...the one you end up looking at and exclaiming "this only happens when I'm out with you!!!" that friend.. It me!