August 4 2013
I went for a walk today.
On my way back, a man walks out of a house, kinda shifty looking (both man and house). There’s a big overgrown bush blocking the sidewalk, and I step into the street to get around it. The guy goes around a corner, (the house is on the end of the street before it turns, the corner if you would). I continue walking. All of a sudden I hear “excuse me, do you live around here?”
The same man is standing there on the sidewalk behind me, in his t-shirt and sweats, in need of a line up (hair and beard, not so much Police and a two way mirror… that I know of) and I realize that he lives in the house.
So it would appear, that him coming outside, and disappearing around the corner was all a badly orchestrated attempt to talk to me.
Now my back is up, because I’m suspicious and this is all rather odd, clearly he’s not asking for directions, he lives there.
I tell him that I do not live in the area and carry on walking.
He starts again, telling me that he’s just trying to introduce himself, but he’s a bit “out of it” so next time…
Next time??? *insert Soulja Boy meme here*
On I walk.
“Hey, you’re beautiful”. I turn and say thank you, while making more distance between me, shifty house man, and the unkempt sidewalk blocking bush.
“I love the way you swish” (seems I'm a Nike sneaker, or a NBA player hitting a 3pointer)
Apparently a parting compliment that could’t wait until “next time.”
August 26 2013
I most definitely attract the weird creeper types... as do many of us. I once tried to explain this to a man friend and was told "you should check your energy, because maybe you're giving off energy that attracts that".. yep, I am definitely giving off energy that says, please please come harass and hassle me while I'm here minding my own business"... thanks so much for the advice human man. I'll get right on it.
There I am, standing at the bus stop, you know, minding my business, waiting on a bus, as you do. A taxi pulls up in front of me and idles. Now this particular bus stop is directly in front of a church, so under normal circumstances, it could have been waiting for Sister Gladys (I made that up) or one of the other church ladies. Except, the church is locked up and nobody is peeping out looking for a cab. My peripheral vision is pretty decent and I’m definitely keeping an eye on the driver, while making sure I appear uninterested. The driver gets out and walks around the front of the car, then back to the diver’s side.
And here we go.
“Hey, hey, hey” is shouted in my direction. I’m confused, he’s a taxi, he doesn’t need directions, I didn’t stop him, I’m not even looking in his direction. Yet he decided to pull up and park at a bus stop, in the bus lane.
I continue to ignore him until he finally gets back into his car and drives off.
No more than two minutes later, he reappears from a side road, he pulls up (again), this time, in front of me and leans over the passenger side to inquire as to where I might be going.
I look at him, and reply “wherever the bus takes me.” Now I’ve done gone and done it, he is apparently offended, affronted even, he lets it be known “I was going to offer you a ride”. I tell him no thanks and turn my head. He speeds off very insulted and angry. It would seem that I was supposed to accept a ride from a stranger, who tried once to get my attention, drove around the block, after being ignored, only to come back and offer me a ride? I think not
But yes fellows, we'll definitely "just be more careful", thanks for the input.
We all have that one friend, you know the one... the one who random weird things happen to...the one you end up looking at and exclaiming "this only happens when I'm out with you!!!" that friend.. It me!
Belly Comes First